Tough Mama


This is a self portrait that I call "Tough Mama". I am, and always have been a bit of a "tough girl". I've had to be. 
All my life I delt with parents who's gift to me was the need to hide, defend myself, and learn to be tough, from a very young age. 

I'm tough.
I have to be. Life isn't nor has it ever been, easy. But I remain positive. I remain positive, because I have faith in myself. I have faith in love. I have faith in my talent, and in the universe. 
This morning, I showed some of my latest drawings to someone very close to me. This person is VERY talented, and well versed in just about every medium. So I take their input to heart. Plus, as I said before: this person is very close to me. 
So when the person decided to call my drawings corny, I was honestly crushed. CRUSHED. Really. 
But, being the tough mama that I am, I didn't believe the person. At all. 
My drawings are not corny. 
They may not be a Picasso painting, but they don't have to be. 
In my old blog, I was pretty open about how I grew up in an abusive home. I did. So, that being said, the reason why I paint these pretty little happy girls, is because they are....me. All the girls I draw, all the girls I paint and create...they are all me (which is why none of them are blonde). 
They are my alter ego, the beautiful, soft and femine side of me that rarely comes out due to the everydayness of being a stay at home mom of two. 
They show the side of me that often hides, the side of me that is the opposite of a woman having grown up in an abusive home. 
They show peace and beauty, and perfect love. They are serene. Enlightened, even. 
That's why I draw these girls. Because they make me happy. It makes me happy to draw soft little girls in watercolor paint. It makes me happy to see them come alive with paint and a brush. Looking at them makes me feel at peace. 
That is why I create these little girls. They may not be perfect looking, but they are my artwork, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone belittle my art, just because they won't pursue theirs. 
You may have twice the talent I have, and may be able to paint pictures that I may never be able to, but I am actually doing something with my talent other than just sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself.
I will never do that.
I will never stop. I can't stop. Life doesn't stop, so I never will. 

And just you wait. My "corny" little girls, are going to make it further than you EVER thought possible. That's a promise. 



2 comments:

  1. i am sorry that the person decided to judge and categorize before talking to you about what you were doing -
    your work is innocent, heartfelt, authentic - it is so profound that it near brings me to tears... i believe that people can master a craft, but art sings from the heart and soul - be it songs of joy or sorrow, fear or confidence, any song at all... it makes a connection...
    i thank you for sharing yourself - it is not an easy thing to do... i tend to hide the feelings and try to speak only as much as i need to so as to share the intention...
    brava, my dear... you are a tough mama - but there is a sweet, soft soul underneath that armor...

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  2. First, let me say that I wish I had had that information about your artwork before now. I didn't see them as "corny" but I didn't understand the inspiration. Now that I do, I'll look at them again and appreciate them a lot more. This is why all the art marketing folks whose blogs I read tell the artist to discuss, explain a bit, open up; it is for greater appreciation. The goal, of course, is to paint from the soul. One who paints from the soul is never "corny."

    I'm not sure why you think you don't show the feminine, soft side of you. I only know you on Facebook, but we have talked enough, I have read enough of your posts that I have formed my own opinion of you. It is one of a positive person trying to find her own inner peace in the face of a difficult childhood. It is one of unfettered honesty that is straight up and real. It is also of a beautiful, spicy Latina. That "spice" is sweet, smoky, sexy, intense, tart, vibrant, complex like a good dish that takes inspiration from south of the border.

    Yes, you're feisty, but I also know you to be gentle and kind. When you stop trying to hide this or that, stop trying to control the way you feel and embrace it, stop trying to work past something and start allowing yourself to be more than the sum of your parts, magic unfolds. Keep painting your little girls, there is something starting to unfold here.

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